Breaking the Ice
One Hole at a Time
By Doran Drummond
"Hey, do you want to go on vacation to see my family in Alabama and Florida?" That's how my journey through parts of Lower Alabama and the Florida panhandle started.
Being raised by a golfer who was raised by a golfer, my first instinct when the prospect of travel presents itself is to question whether I can sneak in a round of golf — and if so, where. I've scheduled work around tee times and traveled 45 minutes out of the way on the way home from court to play that nine-holer I passed that one time (don't pass up Panola Woods when you're passing through Ferriday, La.). To my client who questioned why my flight was at 7 a.m., but the deposition was at 4 p.m., I'll send you some pictures of The Golf Club of Dallas (a Maxwell for less than $50?, sign yaboi up!)
But I was traveling with my wife and her family — the proverbial unchurched in the ways of golfers. My future father-in-law, who wouldn't pick up a club for another decade, wasn't exactly the person I wanted to approach with the question of whether my clubs could travel with me. And, oh by the way, they have to be on top of all of the other luggage. But I was saved by my future father-in-law's desire to fish with his uncle. As a gracious host, he invited me along, but also gave me a second option, as he figured the polo-clad, country club kid may not be interested in fishing: I could play golf with his cousin.
I jumped at the chance to golf. My wife, still getting accustomed to the ways of golfers, asked a simple question: "Are you going to be OK playing golf with my cousin? Y'all don't really know each other." That was an understatement. We had met, once, in passing, a year prior. Was I worried about 4-5 hours, plus commute, with a guy I'd barely met? Nah. He owns clubs, he knows where the golf course is, and he said he'd pick me up and bring me home. I'm good to go.
I wasn’t exactly a golfing novice. I had played enough rounds in which I was randomly paired with two guys I didn’t know, so I knew what to expect. I've read somewhere that 80 percent of conversation on the golf course is made up of 3 topics:
(1.) Golf you are playing
(2.) Golf you played in the past
(3.) Golf you hope to play in the future
And in my experience, that is a fairly accurate breakdown, which is why I was so willing to play on this trip. Golf rounds are filled with mindless chatter that can be had amongst complete strangers that just happen to be traveling through a beautiful park in the same direction and stopping occasionally to swing a stick. I can notice a logo on a shirt and turn it into three holes worth of conversation. Heaven forbid your ball marker have the Masters logo. The back nine will inevitably be filled with praises of the course and tournament with the constant “you just can’t see that on TV” being thrown around.
I’m far from a professional golfer, but I’m a professional at making it through a four-hour round with strangers. However, I have learned over the years that the virtues of golf — not the stuff of sportsmanship, etc., but the true virtues of golf — reside in the other 20 percent of conversation on a golf course. I've seen a buddy confess that his wife was pregnant. I've discussed business. I've even ventured into politics when the occasion calls for it. I've even had difficult, life changing conversations on the golf course. And I'm not the first person to use golf to resolve issues. President Obama and John Boehner played with Vice President Biden and Ohio Republican Gov. John Kasich in 2011 when dealing with the budget. In the '60s, President Johnson played with Senators in order to garner support for the Civil Rights Act.
What makes golf the perfect conduit for these discussions? While I can pontificate about what I think it is — the serenity of the nature, the down time between shots, the lack of direct competition between people you are playing with, etc. — at the end of the day, the why doesn’t matter. What does matter is that golf can be a mechanism for change through the 20 percent of non-golf conversation.
We live in a world that is becoming more divided by right and wrong, and everyone believes they are on the right side. Studies show that Americans are self-sorting, living by and socializing with people who are just like them. Most Americans, me included, spend countless hours on social media or watching the news without ever stepping out of the echo chamber and listening to an idea or point of view that isn’t in line with their views. Golf can be a catalyst to bring this country back together, piece by piece, as long as we embrace it.
Golf has, historically, been a sport of the privileged, but the game is expanding. We are seeing the growth of the game through the pandemic, and it isn't just in the upper middle class. People are picking up the game for the first time that would have never picked up the game before. This means that every round of golf at the local muni could have a foursome composed of people from different parts of the city. From different backgrounds. From different socioeconomic spheres. From different walks of life entirely. In the same vein, golf coverage has changed drastically in the last 10 years. Voices aren't reserved to the ones from Golf Channel, NBC and CBS. There are voices on TV and Twitter from around the country, with a variety of backgrounds, and spanning the spectrum of political beliefs.
The PGA Tour wants to grow the game for economic benefits, which I understand and support. However, I want the game to grow for another reason. In between the drives and putts, the four-dollar Nassaus, and the hot dog at the turn, the 20 percent of non-golf conversation can slowly bring us together. Imagine a group of four golfers who were randomly paired together respectfully discussing local political issues, learning about how those issues impact the others in the foursome. No one is attempting to win the discussion, but they are simply listening to other points of view. Maybe that is unrealistic, but hopefully it isn’t.
I had a great time playing with my wife's cousin. The golf course was awesome, I played terrible (just couldn’t make any putts), but enjoyed myself the entire time. As expected, we made it back home and never ran out of anything to talk about.
Doran Drummond is an insurance defense lawyer from Louisiana and an avid consumer of golf content. His Twitter handle is @dorandrummond.
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